Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Moving Conceding Acceptance

Packing up and moving to St George for JJ and family support. Isn’t moving the worst even under the best circumstances?! I packed up all of Shar’s clothes to go through at a later date but in so doing just broke down and laid in our closet crying and praying for at least five minutes. I am so grateful for my family in all the help they are bringing to the moving front. I am going to desperately miss my Salt Lake area family members, great friends and place of work (including students and staff who all own a piece of my heart). JJ and I promise to visit.

Sharry was a very thorough journal keeper which is something that has continued to serve as an ongoing gift for me.
I loved reading these recently which she wrote right around the time we were going to find out if the IVF procedure was a success or failure. Sharry had written and concession acceptance speech. She is amazing

Beginning at week every 2 or 3 weeks we took some pictures to document JJ's growth. I'll try to share some of these pics in future weeks, these are week 19.

Sharry wrote 10/16/16

I so wish this tiny symmetrical fluid filled embryo would have made me a mother, but today that did not happen. I have emailed the fertility clinic and thanked them for their hard work and support throughout our embryo retrieval and transfer and encouraged them in their efforts for many other women and men on the path to parenthood.
I want to thank Jared, who outside of doctors and nurses, has done more to inspire hope in me throughout this process than anyone. He is the best choice I ever made.
Every stressful moment, every painful shot, every dime spent, was worth the sacrifice we will have to wait for another someday down the road, but our hopes live on.
Thank you for this experience and may God be with us.

My joy is indescribable. I tend to consider myself agnostic, but in this moment I cannot deny the presence of the divine. Today has taught me that any day a dream is fulfilled, is a miracle. And today was certainly miraculous to me. I have to agree with President Franklin D Roosevelt who described days like these “a rendezvous with destiny.”
I want to thank my parents, who taught me that I could be strong and scared at the same time. And to my forever partner, Jared. You were the best decision I ever made and would never be here if it weren’t for you.
I hope this experience, this physical and emotional sacrifice of body and mind, will be an example of love to my children, that they might never question or put boundaries on the power of love. I hope too, it will be an example of chasing dreams and never saying, “I give up” but rather “I give all.”
Thank you for this date with the divine, this heavenly serendipity. May God be with us.

I love where she writes “chasing dreams and never saying, ‘I give up’ but rather ‘I give all’”. Sharry literally gave everything she had for this baby boy and although I definitely do not agree that this was all some kind of heavenly serendipity, I do plead and need God to be with me.


  1. I just can't imagine MMS without your kind and loving smile. You will be greatly missed. Please know that the love and adoration you earned from friends, families, and colleagues here will follow you to St. George and stay with you always. Blake, Samantha, and I wish you the very best, and hope that your smiles outnumber your tears in the coming months.

  2. '..any day a dream is fulfilled is a miracle.'

    I love this! This is amazingly well said. What another wonderful gift to your child!