Monday, January 9, 2017

Holiday Gift Gratitude

For Christmas I didn't want much of anything. I had told people all I wanted was Shar and JJ mementos and framing of some of her art...and people came through big. Here are a highlight of some of the amazing gifts given to the BD3 this year. 

#livelikeShar my sister made this for all the Decker family, I have it hanging in my office. Love it.

Some of Sharry's friends came got together to create this BD3 magic

Some of Shar's siblings gave me this piece by Gustav Klimt, Mother and Child, I have it hangings in JJ's room.

One of my Buhanan brother in laws had a family member who made this awesome piece of Shar and JJ. I adore it, it overlooks his crib.

My mom framed this Shar painting of Jesus with a very imperfect model, but it is a great reminder to me to connect with my Christ heart.

One of Shar's brothers had this Shar art piece framed. I love it, she was so creative and talented. It's hard to make out but if you look closely the black shading is made of tiny yin-yangs. Apologies for the glare. 
A self portrait by Shar of her and our first baby, Lola the cat. My mom got this framed.

One of Shar's favorite art pieces The Three Candles by Marc Chagall. This piece has even more significance to me now as the woman is in white looking quite angelic and together the couple is floating up with the angels.
For my B-day my brother and sis-in-law made this, it says "off to save the world" and has Rogue and Gambit (our super couple) glued on as well. BD3 still fighting to save the world. (o:

I also received an Ergo Baby carrier from a very generous and kind stranger in Michigan. People can be so amazing. I am continually inspired by family, friends and strangers...I should say new friends.

Sharry's mom also surprised me big time when she gave me a big bin full of Shar's childhood mementos. She wanted me to see that not only was Shar an extraordinary adult but a pretty exceptional little girl as well. I still get emotional when I think of this. I'm taking my time going through the mementos...more new (to me) Shar stuff to savor through 2017!

As I look to 2017 I do not know how to tackle the future without my twin soul and honestly that often feels me a great deal of despair. But then I try to remind myself how crazy fortunate I was to hold an angel for 12 years and that the remainder of my life with JJ must be a legacy to her. #livelikeShar


  1. Wonderful, thoughtful and memorable gifts.. God Bless!

  2. I listened to your story on Strangers late last night in a small fishing village outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia. Heartbreaking...beautiful...inspiring. Courage, my stranger (now friend).

  3. Wow....I listened to your story on Stangers in between working with clients today, I kept waiting for her to talk...and then it dawned on me. Keep looking for signs from her, I'm sure she is around you all the time.

  4. Jared,

    You are such a damn inspiration. I'm the father of two girls, (and husband of 1). All three are my life. Hearing your story, and how you are dealing with all you are helps me realize how fortunate I am. Hearing you talk about moving forward, and how "in touch" you are with yourself and your feelings makes me want to be more like you.

    1. Thank you Rob for saying that...please do cherish your beautiful family! (o:

  5. Just listened to your story on Strangers. I also live in Utah and my baby boy is 7 months old today. Here we are going through something so similar and so different at the same time. Thank you for sharing your story. I am standing in my kitchen preparing a pot roast and weeping and feeling overwhelming gratitude in my heart. Much love to you and JJ and Sharry.

  6. Hi Jared,

    My fiancé told me about your story on Strangers and I listened to the episode. I want you to know that you should never give up on trying to connect with Sharry. I lost my Father in 2012 and I have had several experiences that can't be explained and have turned me from a skeptic and into a believer. I would be happy to share those with you. I am thinking of you and praying for you and your son. I hope you can take solace in the fact that you will always have a piece of her inside of him.

    I am a new mother (a three month old girl) and I can tell you with 100% certainty that if were in the same situation that I too would give my life for our baby in an instant and based on what I've learned about being a mother, I don't think she would change a thing even if she could.

    My email is and I would be happy to share a couple of stories with you that I truly believe would give you hope.


  7. I just listened to strangers and it hit pretty close to home. I come from an LDS background and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to conceive for quite some time... my heart and love goes out to you and your beautiful family. I recently read a book titled "Seeking Jordan." It is an easy but fantastic read about how to connect with those that no longer inhabit a physical body on this earth. You may be interested. Peace and love.


  8. I heard your story on Strangers too. I loved the part about Sharry wanting a guitar for her engagement! I met my husband playing folk music and know all the songs you spoke about on the podcast. I play guitar and harp too. Like you, we had trouble conceiving. Like you, we did IVF and it worked but I had a terrible immune reaction to the fertility medication and was close to losing my life. We lost that baby, but since went on to adopt and later carry a baby to term. I am so so sorry that you lost your Sharry. We hear many stories with happy endings but life is not so simple and there is no such thing really. Besides, life is about the love you grow along the way. You had that love with Sharry and will always have it. Now you share it with JJ. Now your story is helping other people and your love is touching other lives. Thank you for sharing it.

  9. I just heard your story on strangers. I am the mother of three children and was listening to your story as I was folding laundry and just can't stop crying! I just can't understand why such horrible things happen to good people! I am so so sorry for your loss and hope that in time you and JJ can heal together while always keeping Sharry in your hearts! When I was a little girl my sister died at birth and always on her birthday we realease balloons into the air and when we can't see them anymore we know she caught them! This was such a special thing for me as a child, maybe it would be a nice idea for you and JJ as well. Sending so much love your way, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!
    Thank you for sharing your story!

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