Saturday, November 5, 2016

Sharry's 5 ??s

143 Days
When I was in California I hit a difficult milestone when I read my very last new to me Sharry journal. Of course I will reread these in the future and I’m sure new things will stand out to me but they will never be completely new again. In the last few pages of this particular journal she asked herself five powerful questions. I want to share these along with minimal commentary in red. Sharry was so reflective, and so damn good, always aspiring to be better..she is forever an inspiration to me.

35 Weeks

What is true about yourself today that would make your 8 year old self cry?
Not writing enough
Lack of religion, community and friends
Lack of play, too much work
Not enjoying life enough
Failing to savor
Not enough time outside
My sadness
Losing my amazing best friend
Agree with Shar’s

What is true about yourself that would make your 8 year old self proud?
Writing (at least some)
Traveled the world
Working for a non profit
Civil rights, activism, marching, protesting, writing letter to the editor/representatives
Reduce, reuse, recycle
Getting through struggle & loss, rising to the challenge and standing in the fire with people
Reading (lots of reading)
Art, journaling, guitar, singing, sewing, close family ties, game night, ***love for learning, talented, healthy, master’s degree, adventurous
Loving animals, good lookin, funny, smart, loving.
Music festivals, hippie love, idealism, trying to make a difference
*Married to the love of my life.*

What makes you forget to eat???
Art! When I’m in the middle of an art project days and nights could fly by without food or water. I wouldn’t notice. This actually includes, graphic design stuff, event/future planning, reading, writing, playing and listening to music and creative projects.

"Mother and Child" - Klimt, all I want for Christmas this year is Shar's art and some of her faves framed

How am I going to save the world?
Art and activism
Writing a few awesome books that no one except Jared may ever read (little did she know you all would be reading her words), painting meaningful & unique pictures, easing the suffering of others. Isn’t she so good??

If you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered? Oh man isn’t this one so incredibly difficult???
This question has become so much more real to me after losing Mark. (Her older brother who passed 3 years ago) I think about this everyday, and I wonder all of the adventure and love that Mark has missed. So, the first thing I would do is treasure my loved ones and tell them how much I care and how sorry I will be to miss spending time with them - to miss meeting their future babies, to miss seeing their successes, to miss eating a piece of pie with them on Thanksgiving Day. So real and present now even though she wrote this a year and a half ago!
My second thought would be to notice the amazing beauty in our daily lives. Powerful message for me.
When Mark got sick, all of my senses were heightened and I can still remember the smooth, slick tile in the hospital hallway, and the gray colored parking lot view from the 8th story window.
Somehow, a realization of death brings an awareness of life. And I would like to soak all of those senses into my skin until I can no longer feel anything, and my cells have turned cold.
And finally, I would like to experience as much of life as I could squeeze into one final year, and one final day. To spend more time writing, and reading, and painting, and learning, and travelling, and singing, and dancing.
Life is a choreographed dance with death.
#LivelikeShar #Live4Shar


  1. Firstly, I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. Since hearing of Sharry's story I have been reading her blog and feeling so inspired by her words and her life. She was truly an admirable human being and a beautiful soul. I hope you find at least some solice in knowing that the tragedy of her passing is inspiring others to be better people.

  2. Thanks for sharing. My sister was a student who you helped at midvale and she told me about your story. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that what you are sharing is changing lives, it certainly has changed mine. I try to live more for experiences and the ones I love now. I hope you find happiness in a world where it's so easy to lose hope.

  3. I just listened to your story on Strangers Podcast. What a great tragedy. I'm so very sorry. Sharry is clearly very special. Thanks for continuing to share her joy with the world. May God bless you and keep you in this life unto the next.

  4. Hi. I'm not sure why I'm leaving this comment. I love your Sharry: She's so smart and introspective and has such a sense of civil justice at such a young age. I'm 39. A former Mormon from Orem and then Salt Lake City who just now stumbled onto your story. I was raised Mormon and believed in it until my early twenties. It's tough when your critical thinking skills take over and conflict with a religion you've been taught from birth. Everything you've been taught about life after death is stolen from you and the fear of ceasing to exist is real. No personal kingdom to rule forever and ever? WHAT? Anyway. I know what's going on in your head. I hope you're hanging in there, man. If this life is all that we do have, you experienced very real and true love for more than a decade and that's a lot more than a lot of people. Maybe that sounds lame to say to you after what you've been through but it's true. And she's here. Somehow. An energy, in your son, in your heart and mind. She's all around you. Wishing you all the best. You're a beautiful person and your son will be the best of both you and Sharry. :)

  5. I feel insensitive now, leaving the above comment. I can't fathom what you've gone through and mostly I just came here to tell you sorry you're going through it all. I just sensed maybe you struggling with your faith and wanted to offer some kind of something. I didn't want to be insensitive and like, "At least you had love for a decade." Basically anything I say feels lacking. Just know I know that and still wanted to say something.