Sunday, November 13, 2016

Saint Sharry, angel of compassion

150 Days without my best friend, my other half, in a new broken life
I have found a measure of purpose to my life. JJ, our Buhanan-Decker baby boy, is of course my exhausting, yet delightful, primary anchor to this existence. But in recent days and weeks I have been awakened to a new additional meaning to my life and connection to Sharry. In a world plagued by pain, loss, apathy, division, violence, bigotry, distrust, suffering and negativity I aim to live a life that both embodies and teaches compassion and empathy.

"make love not money," the type of signs Shar would make for protests and marches. Life>Profit/things
Sharry, as usual, is my inspiration. She was born with her heart on her sleeve and literally could not help but to be compassionate. I love the word compassion. Com=with, passion=suffer, to suffer with. Empathy is the key to unlock the depths of compassion because you cannot suffer with someone if you are unable to personally imagine and feel where they come from or what they are going through. Sharry ached deeply with the lost, sick, hurt and broken things of this world and was usually motivated by that ache to find ways to make a difference with her voice, creativity, feet, time and/or money.  
Sharry regularly wrote about compassion and making a difference in her journals
A memory (one of many) that shows Sharry’s compassion in action is one time we were driving down the road in Salt Lake City and Sharry saw some kind of little bird that had obviously lost its ability to fly and had ended up near a road. We were not in the lane closest to it but after a couple of blocks driving she overcame my resistance and convinced me to turn around so she could attempt to save the life in danger. Unfortunately we were too late and the bird had been struck dead. That experience haunted Sharry.
she did
Shar loved this quote and idea
Sharry had been a strict vegetarian for 7+ years because she could not bear to think of bringing pain to any kind of living creature. Any friend or family member that had the opportunity to know Sharry knew that she would never hurt another’s feelings purposefully. She could not bear to because in hurting others she herself would be racked with pain...even when done accidentally.

Her motivations in life can be summarized entirely by simply saying she wanted to deeply experience life through meaningful relationships & experiences and by a passion to make the world a better place for all living things.

"Never be Silent find your voice for animals"

Sharry is a Saint of Compassion and an angel of empathy and
together the BD3 will make heaven and earth a more loving place. We will do this by standing up to hatred and division with kindness, inclusiveness and understanding. Our trio will reach out toward pain and suffering with our own broken hearts and tears fueled by our love for each other and living beings everywhere. Sharry and I are connected now not only by our deep soul mate bond and love for our beautiful baby boy but through a purpose and mission that I pray reaches beyond the grave. #livelikeShar

Close with some BD boys pics 😀


  1. Beautiful Jared, just beautiful. It can be so painful to feel and care so deeply, but I believe empathy is a gift that helps heal our own suffering as well. I think Sharry knew that.

  2. Much love from our family to yours! Thank you for letting the world get to know your beautiful family. Indeed, we all need to #livelikeshar <3