March 16th is JJ’s 9 month birthday. It has been 9 months since we lost his angel mama and my soulmate. Tonight as I was visiting the cemetery I started thinking of the things I miss and love about Shar. Here are a few:
- Her presence, I loved just feeling her light and love next to me
- Her beautiful voice was music to my ears
- Her taste. Her taste in food, music, movies, fashion and causes were all things that enriched my life that I will always cherish.
- Her beauty. My fantasy girl then and now.
- Her passion. For goals, for adventure, for art, for making the world a better place, for celebrations and traditions, for protecting the broken and defenseless people and creatures.
- Her talent. I am still inspired with wonder and envy at how bright, creative, charismatic and strong she was.
- Her goodness. She had such a compassionate and large heart.
- Her love. Our love. So deep, profound and eternal.
- Her gentleness. She was gifted with animals, babies, plants and...life.
- Her touch. Cuddles, holding hands, sitting on my lap and so much more.
- Her everything. The good and the bad I love and miss everything about one of God’s choice angels.
At 9 months our beautiful baby boy deserves some love and praise as well. Here are some of the things I love about Mr James Francis Buhanan-Decker.
- He does this adorable head nod when he is excited about the attention he’s receiving where he lifts his chin and just coos at whoever he’s locked eyes with.
- How active he is. Her is a curious baby boy which I adore and hope he always maintains.
- His speed. He is a little crawling machine.
- He loves tags. Anytime any article of clothings, blankets, toys or anything has a tag he excitedly makes his way to is and is ready to investigate.
- How much he loves our kitty Lola, it isn’t reciprocated quite yet haha
- His hair that has a slight hint of red in the sunlight...his mama had very warm tones to her hair as well
- His smile melts my broken heart
- His cuddles
- He is a very social eater
- Major FOMO (fear of missing out)
- Amazing hearing, he can pick out things that distant and faint
- When I feed him sometimes he just sits and strokes my beard
- How he loves hikes already
- How he can sleep through almost anything except the night haha. Recently we were on a hike where I had him in the carrier and he fell asleep half way. On the way back I slipped and fell cutting my foot and his face fell into some scratchy bushes. He did not wake up
- All the little ways he reminds me of Shar
- How he is already my very best living friend
- He is my anchor to joy, to this life and Shar
- His laugh
- He loves hide and seek
- How he responds to Sharry’s songs
- How empathetic he seems to be to my own and other people’s emotions
- The future that we have together. A future of adventure (crossing of Shar’s bucket list), meaning, love, learning, growth and friendship.
Happy 9 months JJ I love you so so much.
And to Shar nine incredibly difficult months after 12 magical years have only deepened my love for you.